Dental Spa is an oxymoron.

Over the past several years, I have suffered from occassional jaw pain, attributed to TMJ, and severe migraines. The last bout of migraines started in January of 2005 and consisted of visits to opthamologists, neurologists, MRI scans, ending with a diagnosis of pseudotumor cerebri, which basically meant that my body was acting as if I had a brain tumor, but there wasn't actually one.
Fast forward through a few years, and I end up at the dentist-- my greatest fear-- attempting to have all of my old amalgam fillings replaced with new composite fillings. Of course, the cost ran way up and I didn't have dental insurance and wasn't able to finish the whole process. The dentist did share with me that I needed to have my wisdom teeth removed.
So, when the jaw pain started up again in August 2008, I ignored it for a few weeks and then made an appointment to have the top two wisdom teeth removed. Fast forward again, two months after that surgery, and I'm still having jaw pain. I went to see my PCP, who gave me a prescription for a muscle relaxer. That helped for a few weeks, but the pain was present again last week. It was more severe and eventually led to a migraine this Thursday night. I contemplated going to the ER, but I knew that sitting in a room full of flourescent lights would do anything but help the headache. I suffered through and went back to my PCP yesterday, who again gave me muscle relaxers and pain killers, just in case. Yesterday was fairly miserable and last night was even worse. I woke up this morning with the pain more severe than it's ever been. This time, though, I could identify that the pain was in the top two molars on the right side-- I can't bite down at all and the pain is intense to the point I'm in tears and shaking. After doing some reading (ah, the joys of googling to self diagnosis!), I wonder if I have an abscess tooth. When I was pregnant, my gums bled some, but I knew that was typical. Unfortunately, it never stopped. I've also noticed recently that my gums are not pink, but red. To me, this says trouble.
The biggest trouble of all though is my extreme fear of any dentist or dental work. It all stems from the dentist I saw as a child. He was dreadful and mean and I remember being so afraid of him and consequently, the dentist. Despite not having dental insurance, I finally went to the dentist in 2006. The dentist I saw was very patient and took his time to make sure I was comfortable. Unfortunately, he was uber expensive and I can't afford to go back to him. I have dental coverage now, under Jason's plan, but this dentist's office doesn't work with that insurance. Yesterday, my doctor recommended that I look into "dental spas." I laughed out loud, but did come home to do some research (again, if you can call google searches "research"). I found a dentist who is just a few blocks away and who offers this "dental spa." Basically, it's drugs that I can take before and during my visit that make it so I have no memory of the dentist. The smells of sterilization and sounds of buzzing and whirring dental instruments will not become stuck in my head. I've also ordered a product called Nature's Smile that is supposed to reverse any gum disease (this was my attempt to fix the problem without going to the dentist!).
For now, I'm waiting on the Nature's Smile to arrive so I can start that. I'm taking the Lortab for pain and icing my jaw while I sleep. I'm making sure that I'm not on any pain killers when I'm alone with Ethan (he is my top priority). I made the scary phone call to the dental spa (I am not kidding; just calling them was hard enough). I'm only eating soft foods-- soup, applesauce, yogurt, ice cream. And crossing my fingers this doesn't get any worse.