Fail.

So I haven't written in a few days; my apologies. As usual, life got hectic. On Friday, I was able to get out to school and get some work done on my classroom. I'm trying to get all of the paperwork done on my recertification and it's a pain the butt, but something I need to do. We had H.Bomb this weekend and had a good time. Yesterday, we went to Cash's first birthday party (!!) and then ran some errands. Both boys were so good that we decided to walk over to Macados for an early Father's Day dinner. They were even so good that there that we had some Father's Day ice cream :) Last night, just before midnight, we woke up to shouts coming from our backyard. When we peered through the blinds, we saw several policemen with their guns drawn. So scary, right? Jason and I both were up and put on some decent clothes and headed to the front door (I was too afraid to go to the backdoor!) Turns out, there was a party down the street and some guy who drunk and beligerent and punched through a door. When his friends called the police, he took off running down the alley, came up one street and turned down our's. He tried to jump our fence (his hand was bloody where he had injured it earlier), broke our fence and hid in our backyard. One cop heard him moaning and that's how the located him! We were asked if we wanted to press charges and while my initial reponse was not at all, the longer I watched this situation go on in my yard, the angrier I got. I mean, people need to take responsibility for their actions and now our fence is broken. I knew, logically, that it would be just a hassle to press charges, but it was seriously about this person taking responsibility for his actions. Needless to say, we didn't sleep very well last night.
This morning, we celebrated with my dad over breakfast and then headed to Lowe's to contemplate some much needed home improvments. Jason will be building bookshelves one of these days in the living room and then we'll fence in the front yard. After that, the goal is to freshen up the fence in the backyard and find some shades for the pergola. In the fall, we'll start some planting. When we returned home, the guy from last night (Jason's been calling him "the perp") showed up at the house down the street, with what looked to be a friend and his mother. They were obviously searching for something and then we heard a phone ringing in our backyard. Great. So Jason took this guy's phone over to him while I stood in the front yard with the boys, my lame attempt to show this guy "hey look, you got us all up in a tizzy last night and we have CHILDREN!" Because, ya know, that would obviously make him feel bad. Turns out, according to Jason who got the scoop, this guy's name is Cameron and he just had a bad night. Not that we could know for sure, but he says he never gets like that. He profusely apologized and offered to make any repairs and whatnot. I admit that was all I needed to really make me feel better--- just knowing that he felt bad and would take responsibility. I'm still a little on-edge, but there really isn't anything more we can do. It's not like we live in the ghetto or anything.
And then there was this afternoon. I swear, being a parent is tough but being a stepparent may just be tougher. I mean, I have the responsibilities of a parent, I love him like he's my child, but I don't get the benefits. There are days when I can't do anything right at all, there is no love or thanks and I just sort of feel all beat down by a preschooler. The hardest thing is that I think the two households, ours and biomom's, have very different parenting styles. And if she happens upon this blog, then let me say that for as much as she doesn't like me and calls me "unfit" to take care of her child, and as frustrated as I'm sure we all get with this situation, I feel thankful that for the most part, she and Jason can work out their grievances and keep H. out of things, that they work together as parents and take care of him. He should just always know that both Mom and Dad love him, and that I do, too.