Bittersweet

It is essentially the middle of August.  In just two full weeks, I go back to work.  I go back to packing lunches and setting out clothes the night before, to getting up at 6:30am and hoping to get out the door by 7:15am. I go back to spending my days with tweens and talking about books and writing.  I will drop E$ off at his babysitter's house, and pick him up late in the afternoon.  Our days, and weeks, will be scheduled

In some ways, I miss that structure.  One of my favorite things about teaching is that my schedule changes.  I still get an occasional day off every season.  I get a few days off for Thanksgiving, two weeks in December and a week off in the spring.  I get snow days; I get summer vacation.  Those days off during the year are always welcome breaks, but the many weeks of summer can get to me.  I love being home without much of a schedule; now that I have E$, I love being home even more, to have that time with him.  I believe unstructured play time is essential for kids and he's getting old enough to really enjoy it.  We usually wake up sometime between 7am and 9am, and have a lingering breakfast.  We go out in the mornings, to play, run errands or visit friends. Sometimes we eat lunch out or we picnic.  We almost always come home for a nap.  Glorious, afternoon naps in the summer that can sometimes stretch up to three hours.  Then we get up slowly and spend some downtime.  He plays with his toys; I check my email (or read celebrity gossip online, but whatever).  Several weeks ago, I brought our Kangaroo Climber (now three years old and sunfaded) into our living room.  My boys are climbers and jumpers and super-high-energy-like-you-wouldn't-believe and always wanted to play outside during the hottest part of the day, so my solution was to tug this thing inside, which has been awesome.

My savior this summer.

And while I love these days, these weeks to spend all day with him, I am ready to go back to work.  I'm fortunate to work at a school that can be flexible with my schedule and I work four full days, so we have a three day weekend every week.  For me, it really is the best of both worlds.  And after so long of having these long, hot summer days stretch out before us totally unencumbered, I am looking forward to getting back to a schedule.  I'm excited to pack our lunches, to get up in the morning and put on someting other than gauchos and t-shirts. Also, I get to buy school supplies.  I'm 30 years old and I still get to buy school supplies for myself!  I know E$ will be thrilled to see his old friends, and some new ones, at his sitter's house and maybe we can find a way to get him into bed before 10:00pm (oh yes-- that's his current bedtime).  But while I'm looking forward to it, the change will be hard.  When I mentioned to E$ the other day, at the breakfast table, that we were going to visit his babysitter, instead of smiling like I had anticipated, he wrenched his face and the tears poured out, while he sobbed, "But I want you!"  That will be the bitter, but luckily there's a sweet side, too.