(first, you must know that I am currently in bed with two boys. two young, sweet, sleeping boys who are making my heart melt and get all musha every time I look over at them. this is one of my happiest moments today).
I want to adopt. I think, deep down, my family will feel complete with one more child. I always said that I really wanted three, and right now, we do sort of have three kids that we're caring for, but I think I need one more baby to raise. Sometimes, when I look at E, I think I have to have another child, one more that will have my cowlick and blue eyes, with Jason's grin and sparkle. But other times, I feel this sense of... something like responsibility to love a child that has come from someone else's genetics. Being a stepmom has been an incredible experience and has taught me that loving a child and being a parent isn't all about genetics. Sure, it's an amazing thing to look at a child and see parts of yourself shine through, things that are just innate. But H., my stepson, is like me in so many ways, too and we are bonded just as deeply. And so I feel like I know I can love another child as my own, even if they don't have 23 chromosomes from me, or from my husband. I feel like it would be a nice way to round out our family-- everyone would have a different biological set of parents, but we'd still make one family.
2 comments:
I used to think about adopting or being a foster parent, but I don’t think that’s in the cards for us. One reason is expense – adoption costs a lot of money. Another reason is I don’t think Jason is very comfortable with the idea. And I also want to be pregnant again. I want to feel the kicks and rolls and see the baby on that ultrasound screen and nurse them to sleep from their very first day. But that’s me. You’re right – parenting can have very little to do with biology or it can be a big part of your connection to your child. It’s all subjective. But I wish you guys luck in whatever you decide! I have a taste of baby fever here lately, but reality keeps reeling me back in. :)
I've had some baby fever, too, but know that it's best to wait a bit. If we do adopt, we'd look into Catholic Charities, which is a lot less expensive and if we do adopt, I'd rather do it domestically. I think having worked in the foster care system, having H and my other experiences is a lot of what makes me feel comfortable with the idea. I think J would like to have one more, but he's interested in the idea of adoption, too, and part of me feels like if we're both okay with it, then maybe that's what we're meant to do. I'm not completely sold on not ever being pregnant again, but I don't feel that *urge* right now, ya know? We've agreed to not make any decisions until next spring, so we'll see high the baby fever goes in the next year. Right now, the plan is to get a puppy :)
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