Day 3, Run 2

So I've officially started the Couch to 5K running program and ya'll, it is hard. I am heaving this morning after a lousy 2 minutes of running. I am so much more out of shape than I thought I was; sheesh. I keep telling people about it, though, and about my end goal of the Mud Run in September.  I need other people to held hold me accountable. I want them to ask me, so I can brag a little and be all like, "yeah, I ran for 5 minutes today, what?" (oh vey).

Can I just share with you that I am fat? And I no longer had any sports bras that were worth their salt? So while I browse through the Title Nine and Athleta catalogs, envious of "no bounce, hold it all in" bras that are (no lie) $75, me and my DD's went to Target and bought a $18 bra.  The best part? Apparently, I am no longer the bra size I thought I was; I have to get my husband to HOOK THE BRA IN THE BACK FOR ME. Yes, friends, I am so fat that I can't even hook my own bra. It's tight, but there's very little bounce. I am super self-conscious about people watching me when I run, too. I mean, I can write you a poem in no time, I can teach students how to write papers and understand literature, but running?  In daylight?  On the street, where people can see me? Slightly humiliating. I assume, probably incorrectly, that everyone driving by is looking at me. That the women out walking her dog probably runs 10 miles a day and is laughing at me as I shuffle along (because really?  That's what I'm doing. Not running, just shuffling...)

These are all just my potential roadblocks. I can't run today because I don't have shoes/don't have the right bra/it's too hot/it's too cold/someone will see me/my husband doesn't care if I'm fat. But I really want this; I want to feel fit and in shape. The last time I was proud of my body was after giving birth and while that high carried me through the postpartum belly sag and the desire for elastic waist pants for two years, it's now time to reclaim my body for myself and be a better example to my kids, and my husband. I need to spend a little time putting me first and this girl wants to get covered in mud in September.