I think I've posted this before, but 3 things is sort of a tradition of mine that has become a tradition in our family. In an effort to reframe our thinking, I always try to think of 3 good things that have happened in my day. I've been doing this since college, just about ten years now, and it's helped tremendously to help me focus on the positives.
Yesterday was a good day, but man, the evening hit and everything just went downhill. Today promptly followed suit, but then took a turn for the better this evening. So I guess 24 hours of crap isn't too bad, right? And now, instead of focusing on the bad, here are three good things that happened today:
1. Ice cream for dinner with E and J. Well, it was more like ice cream on our way to the grocery store, so it served as an appetizer and then we had some veggies and rice. Life is short; eat dessert first!
2. Sharing a great book with my students. I'm so encouraged and inspired by them.
3. A visit with Tracy.
And now that my brain is focused on the good, I'm heading to bed in hopes of some good sleep.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Sneaky McSneak
Today is the birthday of a wonderful friend (Woo hoo 29, Bob!) and his equally wonderful wife, also a wonderful friend (Hi Holls!) asked me to bake some cupcakes to celebrate. So last night, I baked up some moist and buttery cupcakes and a batch of dark chocolate buttercream for her to pick up today and set a few aside to share with my students...and a few for our household. Now, usually we like some fancy-schmancy cupcakes here at our house, but sometimes nothing hits the spot like an old school style cupcake. We're all suckers for cakes here and H.Bomb is no exception; despite his running amuk last night, he still said he *needed* a cupcake. Who could blame him, really? I tried to be the strong-armed parent and said he could either take a whole cupcake home to his mom's house to save for today or he could have half of one now. Most Americans have a tendency to want instant gratification and four year olds are no exception (gasp!), so he opted for half now. I didn't want E$ to see him eat the cake, though. The boys had just had a bath and it was bedtime for E, so I cut the cake in half and told Halsey to eat it in the bathroom. I gently pushed him in and closed the door. When he came out a few minutes later, with chocolate frosting smudged on his lips, I winked at him and asked him how his trip to the bathroom went. He looked at me with twinkling eyes and simply said "it was great." It is pretty cool to share a secret with a preschooler.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Poop
FYI-- The following post is about poop, farts, poop jokes, and my own experiences with poop and/or pooping. If you are easily grossed out, please stop here.
Years ago, when I was in college, I had a roommate who had a boyfriend who was a bit on the squeamish side. See, the bathroom that we shared was actually in my bedroom and he didn't like for anyone else to know the going-ons of his bowels, so I would usually leave the room. He was also squeamish enough to not refer to these going-ons as pooping, sh*tting, taking a dump, etc. He called it "grumping." It's not so much that I'm squeamish, but rather sometimes modest (for example, I still don't fart in front of my husband). But I managed borrow this term and so in our house, we grump.
The catch is that I lived with boys. All boys. Boys find great humor in words and events such as pooping, or farting or any bodily function/excretion. It got so bad that we created a rule for these jokes: Potty jokes and remarks could only be said in the actual bathroom. So you'll often find H.Bomb grabbing a hand, pulling of us into the bathroom so he can shout out words like "poop!" or "penis!" It's a riot at our house, I'm telling ya.
Here comes the most important part of the story-- my renewed realization the my bathroom time will never be the same. It started last year when I was in the labor and had to have Jason's help as my body cleared itself of everything. I became a fan of colace for several weeks after Ethan's birth and had to discuss my poop with my ob/gyn when I went in at 6 weeks postpartum. Changing diapers was never a big deal, but man did I learn a lot about poop. And now, I've officially helped to potty train one son, working on number 2, I have wiped a lot of butts. But the bathroom, despite H's rule, has always been a place where I could escape and have a few minutes of "me" time (is it sad, that my chance to go to the bathroom also counts as alone time?). Not anymore, though. Toddlers and preschoolers have once again reminded me that my pooping, or not pooping, or trying to poop or too much poop is EVERYONE'S business, as just the other day, I had to quickly get home so as to use my own toilet as opposed to the one at the park. H was with me, so I turned on the tv for him and raced back to my bathroom. I was relaxed until I heard the tiny preschool sized fingers tap-tap-tapping at my bathroom door (quick-- what poem and/or poet did I just allude to? First person to comment with the answer wins a candy bar!). My space had been invaded; I couldn't even poop in peace. Do you have any idea how hard it is poop whilst a four year old is dancing in front of you, asking you how you're doing at "getting that one out?" I guess I need to get a lock.
Years ago, when I was in college, I had a roommate who had a boyfriend who was a bit on the squeamish side. See, the bathroom that we shared was actually in my bedroom and he didn't like for anyone else to know the going-ons of his bowels, so I would usually leave the room. He was also squeamish enough to not refer to these going-ons as pooping, sh*tting, taking a dump, etc. He called it "grumping." It's not so much that I'm squeamish, but rather sometimes modest (for example, I still don't fart in front of my husband). But I managed borrow this term and so in our house, we grump.
The catch is that I lived with boys. All boys. Boys find great humor in words and events such as pooping, or farting or any bodily function/excretion. It got so bad that we created a rule for these jokes: Potty jokes and remarks could only be said in the actual bathroom. So you'll often find H.Bomb grabbing a hand, pulling of us into the bathroom so he can shout out words like "poop!" or "penis!" It's a riot at our house, I'm telling ya.
Here comes the most important part of the story-- my renewed realization the my bathroom time will never be the same. It started last year when I was in the labor and had to have Jason's help as my body cleared itself of everything. I became a fan of colace for several weeks after Ethan's birth and had to discuss my poop with my ob/gyn when I went in at 6 weeks postpartum. Changing diapers was never a big deal, but man did I learn a lot about poop. And now, I've officially helped to potty train one son, working on number 2, I have wiped a lot of butts. But the bathroom, despite H's rule, has always been a place where I could escape and have a few minutes of "me" time (is it sad, that my chance to go to the bathroom also counts as alone time?). Not anymore, though. Toddlers and preschoolers have once again reminded me that my pooping, or not pooping, or trying to poop or too much poop is EVERYONE'S business, as just the other day, I had to quickly get home so as to use my own toilet as opposed to the one at the park. H was with me, so I turned on the tv for him and raced back to my bathroom. I was relaxed until I heard the tiny preschool sized fingers tap-tap-tapping at my bathroom door (quick-- what poem and/or poet did I just allude to? First person to comment with the answer wins a candy bar!). My space had been invaded; I couldn't even poop in peace. Do you have any idea how hard it is poop whilst a four year old is dancing in front of you, asking you how you're doing at "getting that one out?" I guess I need to get a lock.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Grouch.
Mabye in my old age, I've gotten inpatient. Yes, that must be it. Or-- it could be that I am trying to hold others to the high standards that I've set for myself. I'll admit, I have very high standards for friendship. I'm not always a perfect friend; hell, I'm sure there are times when I'm not a good friend, but I try really hard. I make efforts to stay in touch with people because I know that our lives have changed and hanging out, spending time together, isn't as easy as it used to be. I offer to have people over; I make phone calls. I reach out and try to communicate, especially when there's some sort of issue (by the way, I hate using that word, "issues." It just makes me think of magazines, specifically, Rolling Stone and for this, I have no explanation). I do my best to feel compassionate towards others, to be forgiving if I need to be and to realize that people are making decisions for themselves and that generally, that has nothing to do with me. My problem is that I take things personally and feel things deeply. I don't want to change this so much, at least the feeling things deeply part. Maybe the taking things personally part; yes, that should change.
In the end, I'm hurt because I have friends that I am assuming are upset with me because they are either not responding to my phone calls and/or emails or because they turn down repeated offers to hang out. Of course, I'm assuming and the reality of it is that their actions have to do with them and how they feel and it's not fair for me to be as self-centered as to make this about me. What's that quote-- I can't change others; I can only change myself. I will continue to love these friends and just hope that whatever the conflict is, whether it's with me or within themselves, that it resolves soon.
In the end, I'm hurt because I have friends that I am assuming are upset with me because they are either not responding to my phone calls and/or emails or because they turn down repeated offers to hang out. Of course, I'm assuming and the reality of it is that their actions have to do with them and how they feel and it's not fair for me to be as self-centered as to make this about me. What's that quote-- I can't change others; I can only change myself. I will continue to love these friends and just hope that whatever the conflict is, whether it's with me or within themselves, that it resolves soon.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
To everything, turn, turn, turn
I used to hate fall and winter. I hated the cold; I hated the time change; I hated the way life seemed to slow down as the temperature dropped. But I have gotten old in the past few years and I've come to appreciate this time of year. I love living in our valley, surrounded by the mountains. The leaves are spectacularly colored and my drive to work is beautiful (but to be honest, I also think it's beautiful in the spring, as the world comes back to life again). I love the scent of autumn, the one that appears in the air sometime in mid-October, just before Halloween. I love apples and pumpkins, mulled anything and warm soups. I love hunkering down and wearing sweaters, pulling on thick socks to keep my toes warm and pulling my turtle fur down over my neck.
I am nearing 30; just 3 months away from starting a new decade. Coincidence?
I am nearing 30; just 3 months away from starting a new decade. Coincidence?
Monday, October 12, 2009
Is my stepmother wart showing?
Confession: Being a stepmother is WAY harder than being a biological mother. I can say this because I am both. My bio son is just a year and a half old and is thoroughly and beautifully exhausting. My stepson, who is equally as thorough and beautiful in his exhaustive nature, is four and a half. I'm not sure if it's being four or if it's the fact that no matter how much I love him, no matter how much I feel like he's my son, SS isn't actually my child. In the end, who does he want for comfort? "Mommy, Daddy, Gigi." I don't even rank above the blanket.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Surrounded by boys.
It's not such a bad thing. There are days when I hope for a girl, a sweet and tender daughter who will sit in my lap and mushy and wear tutus (even though I was never this kind of girl myself). But I have boys. Rough and tough, tumble bumble boys. Boys who hit and push; boys who yell and make messes. Boys who love to play in the dirt and are obsessed with all things guitars and helicopters. Of course, this is the kind of little girl. I was rough and tumble; I loved dirt. Maybe I wasn't into helicopters and guitars, but this affection for our boys comes directly from their dad.
But you know what? I would never, ever in a bajillion years, would I ever trade it. I adore these boys. When they're hitting and pushing, it's rough housing and I have learned that this is how boys bond. I've decided that nothing is a mess if it can be cleaned up. And they are both snugglers and they like to read books and smush and we are lucky beyond belief.
But you know what? I would never, ever in a bajillion years, would I ever trade it. I adore these boys. When they're hitting and pushing, it's rough housing and I have learned that this is how boys bond. I've decided that nothing is a mess if it can be cleaned up. And they are both snugglers and they like to read books and smush and we are lucky beyond belief.
Friday, September 4, 2009
New Favorite Blog
One of my most favorite education books ever is Educating Esme, by Esme Codell. It's so cheeky and blunt and reminds me of how I felt about public education when I was a senior in college and doing my student teaching. I was so frustrated with the politics of it all, particularly with the school system I student taught in. There was very little support and instead of uplifting and caring for one another, the teachers were catty, gossipy and competitive. It was a horrible environment to work in and I'm just thankful I never had to be a student there. All of that lead me to apply in alternative education systems and I fortunately ended up at Community School.
Anyway, I've always loved Educating Esme and have read and recommended several of Esme's others books to my student. In fact, I read Sahara Special to my class every year and they always lovelovelove it. Sahara has become like one of my own students; I aspire to be more like Ms. Pointy. She wrote an amazing book for parents and teachers that catalogs a bajillion books for kids and it's awesome. I was fortunate enough that when Esme came to Roanoke College a few years ago for the Margaret Sue Copenhaver Institute, I was able to meet and talk with her. You know the way some people get about meeting musicians or stars? That's how I get with authors. I get all geeky and I talk too fast and in general, show my nerdiness. This year, they are reissuing Educating Esme, with all kinds of new additions and a foreward written by another favorite author, Katherine Paterson. I'll probably buy another copy, just because. To go along with the new book, Esme has a new blog! Even though I'm technically not an elementary school teacher, I'll be a regular reader. Check it out!
Anyway, I've always loved Educating Esme and have read and recommended several of Esme's others books to my student. In fact, I read Sahara Special to my class every year and they always lovelovelove it. Sahara has become like one of my own students; I aspire to be more like Ms. Pointy. She wrote an amazing book for parents and teachers that catalogs a bajillion books for kids and it's awesome. I was fortunate enough that when Esme came to Roanoke College a few years ago for the Margaret Sue Copenhaver Institute, I was able to meet and talk with her. You know the way some people get about meeting musicians or stars? That's how I get with authors. I get all geeky and I talk too fast and in general, show my nerdiness. This year, they are reissuing Educating Esme, with all kinds of new additions and a foreward written by another favorite author, Katherine Paterson. I'll probably buy another copy, just because. To go along with the new book, Esme has a new blog! Even though I'm technically not an elementary school teacher, I'll be a regular reader. Check it out!
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Is it a full moon?
It is after 9:00pm and my child is STILL awake. He apparently got his second wind after his bath tonight and is running around the house like a banshee. He's not being whiny or is in a bad mood; he's just so full of energy it's ridiculous. The worst part, though, is that I really would like a cupcake but won't have one while he's still awake because it means I'd have to share. He doesn't need sugar this late (and obviously, I do).
So now, 45 minutes later, it seems he's down for the count. We had a great weekend. Busy, but great. Saturday was another day at the market. It was rainy, but we still did okay. Our flavors were awesome this week-- dreamsicle, chocolate malt, mixed berry and lemon. We've been snacking on the minis all weekend. We missed one birthday party on Saturday morning, but went to London's first birthday on Saturday afternoon. I wish I had pictures but I had left my camera at home. We had a few friends over last night for dinner. Jason says summer can now feel complete because he finally did some grilling. We bought a London broil at the Fresh Market and put bleu cheese on top-- yum! We watched part of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire and got a great night's sleep. We all slept in this morning, had cinnamon rolls for breakfast (made by Suzanne, the awesome baker that we share a table with at the Market) and then took a three hour nap. Went to another birthday party this afternoon, dropped in to see my folks for bit, delivered some cupcakes and went to dinner. And now, we're finishing up HP (have I mentioned how much I love HP?)
This is my last week before returning to work. Part of me is sad that the summer went by so quickly, but another part of me is excited to go by to work. I love teaching; I love my students and I love CS. However, the beginning of the school year will mean Ethan starting a new babysitter's and as much as I love going to work, I hate leaving my baby. I know he'll be in good hands; it will just be hard to leave him. I guess it's not an easy thing for any mother, but sometimes a necessary one. And to be honest, I'm not sure I would be a great full-time stay-at-home mom. I commend all those who do it, but I don't think I have the patience for it. In my head, it would be all rainbows-and-craft-projects-and-trips-to-the-library-and-cooking-projects but I know the reality would mean me in pajamas all day, just trying to get the dishes done. Nah, we're better off with me working. :)
So now, 45 minutes later, it seems he's down for the count. We had a great weekend. Busy, but great. Saturday was another day at the market. It was rainy, but we still did okay. Our flavors were awesome this week-- dreamsicle, chocolate malt, mixed berry and lemon. We've been snacking on the minis all weekend. We missed one birthday party on Saturday morning, but went to London's first birthday on Saturday afternoon. I wish I had pictures but I had left my camera at home. We had a few friends over last night for dinner. Jason says summer can now feel complete because he finally did some grilling. We bought a London broil at the Fresh Market and put bleu cheese on top-- yum! We watched part of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire and got a great night's sleep. We all slept in this morning, had cinnamon rolls for breakfast (made by Suzanne, the awesome baker that we share a table with at the Market) and then took a three hour nap. Went to another birthday party this afternoon, dropped in to see my folks for bit, delivered some cupcakes and went to dinner. And now, we're finishing up HP (have I mentioned how much I love HP?)
This is my last week before returning to work. Part of me is sad that the summer went by so quickly, but another part of me is excited to go by to work. I love teaching; I love my students and I love CS. However, the beginning of the school year will mean Ethan starting a new babysitter's and as much as I love going to work, I hate leaving my baby. I know he'll be in good hands; it will just be hard to leave him. I guess it's not an easy thing for any mother, but sometimes a necessary one. And to be honest, I'm not sure I would be a great full-time stay-at-home mom. I commend all those who do it, but I don't think I have the patience for it. In my head, it would be all rainbows-and-craft-projects-and-trips-to-the-library-and-cooking-projects but I know the reality would mean me in pajamas all day, just trying to get the dishes done. Nah, we're better off with me working. :)
Monday, July 27, 2009
Attempt 2
1. This weekend was awesome. On Saturday, we set up shop at the Salem Farmer's Market to sell our cupcakes. We took 150 and sold out by 12:30. Whitney came down and I couldn't have done it without her. Without her or Jason, really. And so many friends came down to support me, it was amazing. I am blessed.
2. Today was damn near perfect. Ethan slept in until 7:30(!!!) and then we just had a lazy morning together. We took Nicole to the pool for a bit, he took a nap in the car while I read and then he was amazing well behaved on our trip to the grocery store. We came home and loaded up in the stroller. We went to the library, picked up dinner and took it to our current favorite park for a pinic and some play time. Ice cream for Ethan on the way home, a bath and Daddy got home just in time for some snuggles with E. while I attempted a carrot cake (alas, it did not go well. Too dry. I'm trying to work with stevia and carrot cake just really needs the brown sugar). And now, I will be in bed with a new book before 10:00!
I really think I need to write less about the warm fuzzy feeling stuff and more about the reality of having kids, being a stepmom, etc. Like yesterday, for instance. We finally, after seriously months of trying, did family pictures with Tracy, who is awesome. Ethan was in good spirits, because he and I had taken a 3 hour nap that afternoon, but Halsey-- oh, Halsey-- had refused to nap and he is not a happy camper when he goes without a nap. He was a little rambunctious for Tracy, but it was regular four year old hijinks and whatnot. Until he spit in her face. Well, not exactly in her face, but towards her face and her camera. That was The End. He and Jason had a "session," and he just put on his saddest face and wailed (I think we may have a picture of it somewhere in our photo session). He just continued. He wailed as we walked off the campus. He wailed as started our walk home and he wailed for two entire blocks of Main Street until I had enough. I got him out of the wagon, sent Jason, Tracy and Ethan ahead and Halsey and I sat until he stopped crying, which didn't take too long. He was most upset because he knew that because of the way he had acted, there was no trip to Walmart (yes, we bribed him for the photo shoot). He said to me, "well, my mom will buy me whatever I want." This, of course, made me furious (I have real issues with kids being spoiled with material possessions), but I remained calm and told him that I was pretty sure she wouldn't buy him a toy when she knew that he had spit in someone's face. I also told him he was fortunate to have so many toys already and that if he wanted to continue to act this way, he could keep four of them and we would give the rest away. He looked at me, trying to work out if I was serious. However, Halsey and I are on great terms and he knows that when I say something, I mean it. I don't end up caving just because he cries. I'm consistent and he trusts that about me and suddenly, not getting a new toy didn't seem so bad when he realized that I really would take away all of the others. And you know what? He was fine after that. He apologized to Tracy and to Dad. And he was completely pleasant for the rest of the walk home.
4. Have I mentioned yet that I am going to bed? Woo hoo for early bedtimes!
2. Today was damn near perfect. Ethan slept in until 7:30(!!!) and then we just had a lazy morning together. We took Nicole to the pool for a bit, he took a nap in the car while I read and then he was amazing well behaved on our trip to the grocery store. We came home and loaded up in the stroller. We went to the library, picked up dinner and took it to our current favorite park for a pinic and some play time. Ice cream for Ethan on the way home, a bath and Daddy got home just in time for some snuggles with E. while I attempted a carrot cake (alas, it did not go well. Too dry. I'm trying to work with stevia and carrot cake just really needs the brown sugar). And now, I will be in bed with a new book before 10:00!
I really think I need to write less about the warm fuzzy feeling stuff and more about the reality of having kids, being a stepmom, etc. Like yesterday, for instance. We finally, after seriously months of trying, did family pictures with Tracy, who is awesome. Ethan was in good spirits, because he and I had taken a 3 hour nap that afternoon, but Halsey-- oh, Halsey-- had refused to nap and he is not a happy camper when he goes without a nap. He was a little rambunctious for Tracy, but it was regular four year old hijinks and whatnot. Until he spit in her face. Well, not exactly in her face, but towards her face and her camera. That was The End. He and Jason had a "session," and he just put on his saddest face and wailed (I think we may have a picture of it somewhere in our photo session). He just continued. He wailed as we walked off the campus. He wailed as started our walk home and he wailed for two entire blocks of Main Street until I had enough. I got him out of the wagon, sent Jason, Tracy and Ethan ahead and Halsey and I sat until he stopped crying, which didn't take too long. He was most upset because he knew that because of the way he had acted, there was no trip to Walmart (yes, we bribed him for the photo shoot). He said to me, "well, my mom will buy me whatever I want." This, of course, made me furious (I have real issues with kids being spoiled with material possessions), but I remained calm and told him that I was pretty sure she wouldn't buy him a toy when she knew that he had spit in someone's face. I also told him he was fortunate to have so many toys already and that if he wanted to continue to act this way, he could keep four of them and we would give the rest away. He looked at me, trying to work out if I was serious. However, Halsey and I are on great terms and he knows that when I say something, I mean it. I don't end up caving just because he cries. I'm consistent and he trusts that about me and suddenly, not getting a new toy didn't seem so bad when he realized that I really would take away all of the others. And you know what? He was fine after that. He apologized to Tracy and to Dad. And he was completely pleasant for the rest of the walk home.
4. Have I mentioned yet that I am going to bed? Woo hoo for early bedtimes!
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Dream Come True
Ever since I was 16 and applied for my first job at a coffee shop (it was one that was about to open at the time, the Daily Grind on Grandin Road), I have loved being in a kitchen. I was often the one making dinner for my family and by the time I was working at Mill Mtn. Coffee and Tea in Salem (while I attended Roanoke College), I was in love with baking. At Mill Mtn., I was the morning baker, which meant I had to go into work at 5:00am. I am not a morning person, but I rarely minded those early times, when I would go in, turn on some music, pull my hair back and put on an apron. Most of the stuff was pre-made-- I would just scoop out muffin batter or bake the already proofed cinnamon rolls. But on occasion, I was able to experiment with coffee cakes, cookies and other simple baked goods to add to out menu. After college, I continued baking for myself and friends. I usually used boxed cake mixes because I was so intimidated by making something from scratch. I came to love cupcakes because I was horrible at frosting a cake and cupcakes were so easy and cute. I also have this strange affection for anything little and mini, so cupcakes were the obvious choice.
As I got older and more interested in healthy eating and living, I began to explore the art of baking from scratch and realized that it truly is the only way to go. It is just as easy and much tastier to use flour and sugar and butter and whatnot, rather than just adding eggs and oil.
In the back of my mind, I've always held onto this dream of one day owning a little cafe, a dream that has taken on various formats. Some days, I want a combo coffee shop/bookstore. Other days, it's a kid-friendly cafe where parents and caregivers can relax, enjoy some good food and let their kids play. And still other times, I dreamt of a cupcakery, a bakery filled with all sorts of cupcakes. I realize how hard it is to start up a business, how time and money consuming it can be, which is why I've never really thought about doing anything like this until our kids are up and grown. But week before last, I went to visit our town's newest bakery-- a cupcake specialty shop. I admire their courage to open up a shop, but could see the weariness in their eyes that comes from putting your heart and soul and everything you have into a business venture. And then the next day, my husband came home from the farmer's market and told me that we needed to try. See, at our local farmer's market, it is cheap to rent a table for the day. And they let you set up and sell 3 times before you have to get your tax permit. Sounded too easy to me, so I never really gave it much thought. Until last Saturday. And I made some phone calls, and it really is that easy. So this Saturday, we'll be there as half*caked, selling our wares (cupcakes and muffins!) and crossing our fingers. We could use the extra money for sure, but it's also really cool to finally be pursuing this dream. Wish us luck! (and come out and buy some cupcakes!)
Oh! There's a new blog for this venture, too. It's www.halfcakedinsalem.blogspot.com Check it out!
As I got older and more interested in healthy eating and living, I began to explore the art of baking from scratch and realized that it truly is the only way to go. It is just as easy and much tastier to use flour and sugar and butter and whatnot, rather than just adding eggs and oil.
In the back of my mind, I've always held onto this dream of one day owning a little cafe, a dream that has taken on various formats. Some days, I want a combo coffee shop/bookstore. Other days, it's a kid-friendly cafe where parents and caregivers can relax, enjoy some good food and let their kids play. And still other times, I dreamt of a cupcakery, a bakery filled with all sorts of cupcakes. I realize how hard it is to start up a business, how time and money consuming it can be, which is why I've never really thought about doing anything like this until our kids are up and grown. But week before last, I went to visit our town's newest bakery-- a cupcake specialty shop. I admire their courage to open up a shop, but could see the weariness in their eyes that comes from putting your heart and soul and everything you have into a business venture. And then the next day, my husband came home from the farmer's market and told me that we needed to try. See, at our local farmer's market, it is cheap to rent a table for the day. And they let you set up and sell 3 times before you have to get your tax permit. Sounded too easy to me, so I never really gave it much thought. Until last Saturday. And I made some phone calls, and it really is that easy. So this Saturday, we'll be there as half*caked, selling our wares (cupcakes and muffins!) and crossing our fingers. We could use the extra money for sure, but it's also really cool to finally be pursuing this dream. Wish us luck! (and come out and buy some cupcakes!)
Oh! There's a new blog for this venture, too. It's www.halfcakedinsalem.blogspot.com Check it out!
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
So Maybe I Set My Goals Too High?
But I really am making an effort to write more often. I feel like even if I just come and get the junk that floats around my mind onto paper (er... webpage) than at least I'm doing something: I'm working on making writing a habit. Esme Codell, one of my favorite authors, wrote a book for kids called Sahara Special. It's a great story about a girl who wants to be a writer, but refuses to write in her journal at school (there's a lot more to it than that, you should go find this book right now and read it; it's that good). Her teacher, Ms. Pointy, tells her that "writers write." Seems like such simple advice, really, but it's something I have to tell myself over and over again. Writers write. As Ethan gets older, I'm finding it easier to make the time to write, but there's always something else I should be doing. The laundry. The dishes. Working out. But writers write, and so I'm here.
Both yesterday and today ended up being really great days. Yesterday, I went to a coworker's house to play with her Cricut ( ) and it was amazing. I made a card for our nephew's upcoming birthday, vinyl wall letters to put a quote up in my new classroom library and two very cool dinosaur pictures for Halsey's room. I am going to end up with one of these machines. I thought I had lost my wallet earlier that morning, so the day wasn't so good to begin with, but I'll admit that the Cricut helped to take my mind off of it. Whitney was out and about in Salem, so she came over and used her x-ray vision and found my wallet! Huzzah! Jason and Halsey finally painted the boys' closet doors (orange!) and later that evening, we went to visit another coworker and her family. Today had a nice, slow start. Just me and E. around the house. He took a good nap and then we ran a few errands. I had to go to a new dentist who despairingly confirmed that I need two root canals, but the upside is that they do conscious sedation for the dentist-phobics like myself. I took an old student/current E. babysitter and her younger sister to the bookstore (really, is there anything better than the smell of fresh, new books?) and made a small purchase myself. I came home to an amazing dinner on the table that Jason had whipped up (amazing chicken tenders with a whole wheat coating, pasta and a light garlic parmesan sauce). I did a load of laundry; E. had a bath and went to bed and now I'm getting ready to type up a piece I wrote to read at a friend's wedding this weekend. I'm exhausted, but in a totally fulfilled kind of way. I love these summer days.
Both yesterday and today ended up being really great days. Yesterday, I went to a coworker's house to play with her Cricut ( ) and it was amazing. I made a card for our nephew's upcoming birthday, vinyl wall letters to put a quote up in my new classroom library and two very cool dinosaur pictures for Halsey's room. I am going to end up with one of these machines. I thought I had lost my wallet earlier that morning, so the day wasn't so good to begin with, but I'll admit that the Cricut helped to take my mind off of it. Whitney was out and about in Salem, so she came over and used her x-ray vision and found my wallet! Huzzah! Jason and Halsey finally painted the boys' closet doors (orange!) and later that evening, we went to visit another coworker and her family. Today had a nice, slow start. Just me and E. around the house. He took a good nap and then we ran a few errands. I had to go to a new dentist who despairingly confirmed that I need two root canals, but the upside is that they do conscious sedation for the dentist-phobics like myself. I took an old student/current E. babysitter and her younger sister to the bookstore (really, is there anything better than the smell of fresh, new books?) and made a small purchase myself. I came home to an amazing dinner on the table that Jason had whipped up (amazing chicken tenders with a whole wheat coating, pasta and a light garlic parmesan sauce). I did a load of laundry; E. had a bath and went to bed and now I'm getting ready to type up a piece I wrote to read at a friend's wedding this weekend. I'm exhausted, but in a totally fulfilled kind of way. I love these summer days.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Fail.
So I haven't written in a few days; my apologies. As usual, life got hectic. On Friday, I was able to get out to school and get some work done on my classroom. I'm trying to get all of the paperwork done on my recertification and it's a pain the butt, but something I need to do. We had H.Bomb this weekend and had a good time. Yesterday, we went to Cash's first birthday party (!!) and then ran some errands. Both boys were so good that we decided to walk over to Macados for an early Father's Day dinner. They were even so good that there that we had some Father's Day ice cream :) Last night, just before midnight, we woke up to shouts coming from our backyard. When we peered through the blinds, we saw several policemen with their guns drawn. So scary, right? Jason and I both were up and put on some decent clothes and headed to the front door (I was too afraid to go to the backdoor!) Turns out, there was a party down the street and some guy who drunk and beligerent and punched through a door. When his friends called the police, he took off running down the alley, came up one street and turned down our's. He tried to jump our fence (his hand was bloody where he had injured it earlier), broke our fence and hid in our backyard. One cop heard him moaning and that's how the located him! We were asked if we wanted to press charges and while my initial reponse was not at all, the longer I watched this situation go on in my yard, the angrier I got. I mean, people need to take responsibility for their actions and now our fence is broken. I knew, logically, that it would be just a hassle to press charges, but it was seriously about this person taking responsibility for his actions. Needless to say, we didn't sleep very well last night.
This morning, we celebrated with my dad over breakfast and then headed to Lowe's to contemplate some much needed home improvments. Jason will be building bookshelves one of these days in the living room and then we'll fence in the front yard. After that, the goal is to freshen up the fence in the backyard and find some shades for the pergola. In the fall, we'll start some planting. When we returned home, the guy from last night (Jason's been calling him "the perp") showed up at the house down the street, with what looked to be a friend and his mother. They were obviously searching for something and then we heard a phone ringing in our backyard. Great. So Jason took this guy's phone over to him while I stood in the front yard with the boys, my lame attempt to show this guy "hey look, you got us all up in a tizzy last night and we have CHILDREN!" Because, ya know, that would obviously make him feel bad. Turns out, according to Jason who got the scoop, this guy's name is Cameron and he just had a bad night. Not that we could know for sure, but he says he never gets like that. He profusely apologized and offered to make any repairs and whatnot. I admit that was all I needed to really make me feel better--- just knowing that he felt bad and would take responsibility. I'm still a little on-edge, but there really isn't anything more we can do. It's not like we live in the ghetto or anything.
And then there was this afternoon. I swear, being a parent is tough but being a stepparent may just be tougher. I mean, I have the responsibilities of a parent, I love him like he's my child, but I don't get the benefits. There are days when I can't do anything right at all, there is no love or thanks and I just sort of feel all beat down by a preschooler. The hardest thing is that I think the two households, ours and biomom's, have very different parenting styles. And if she happens upon this blog, then let me say that for as much as she doesn't like me and calls me "unfit" to take care of her child, and as frustrated as I'm sure we all get with this situation, I feel thankful that for the most part, she and Jason can work out their grievances and keep H. out of things, that they work together as parents and take care of him. He should just always know that both Mom and Dad love him, and that I do, too.
This morning, we celebrated with my dad over breakfast and then headed to Lowe's to contemplate some much needed home improvments. Jason will be building bookshelves one of these days in the living room and then we'll fence in the front yard. After that, the goal is to freshen up the fence in the backyard and find some shades for the pergola. In the fall, we'll start some planting. When we returned home, the guy from last night (Jason's been calling him "the perp") showed up at the house down the street, with what looked to be a friend and his mother. They were obviously searching for something and then we heard a phone ringing in our backyard. Great. So Jason took this guy's phone over to him while I stood in the front yard with the boys, my lame attempt to show this guy "hey look, you got us all up in a tizzy last night and we have CHILDREN!" Because, ya know, that would obviously make him feel bad. Turns out, according to Jason who got the scoop, this guy's name is Cameron and he just had a bad night. Not that we could know for sure, but he says he never gets like that. He profusely apologized and offered to make any repairs and whatnot. I admit that was all I needed to really make me feel better--- just knowing that he felt bad and would take responsibility. I'm still a little on-edge, but there really isn't anything more we can do. It's not like we live in the ghetto or anything.
And then there was this afternoon. I swear, being a parent is tough but being a stepparent may just be tougher. I mean, I have the responsibilities of a parent, I love him like he's my child, but I don't get the benefits. There are days when I can't do anything right at all, there is no love or thanks and I just sort of feel all beat down by a preschooler. The hardest thing is that I think the two households, ours and biomom's, have very different parenting styles. And if she happens upon this blog, then let me say that for as much as she doesn't like me and calls me "unfit" to take care of her child, and as frustrated as I'm sure we all get with this situation, I feel thankful that for the most part, she and Jason can work out their grievances and keep H. out of things, that they work together as parents and take care of him. He should just always know that both Mom and Dad love him, and that I do, too.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Second day in a row!
Not to brag, but this is totally my second day in a row to sit down and blog! I just know that I really need to recommit myself to writing. I always feel so much better when I do; it's very cleansing for me. I can get off the "this is what I did today" nonsense and dig into deeper, more thougthful things. But then again, guess what I did today? :) The morning started off on the wrong foot. I am horrible in the mornings. I just don't understand how people can wake up and be... chipper. Ugh. Coffee doesn't do it; a shower doesn't do it-- there isn't much of anything that can get me all up-and-at-'em first thing in the morning. Of course, this has lead to many an argument between me and the hubs. See, while he's not exactly a morning person either, he can at least motivate himself far better than I can. So I sort of depend on him to get up with E, get breakfast going and leave me to ogre-like self. When he doesn't, I get almost hateful with him (and subsequently spend the rest of the day apologizing). I thought we had worked out an agreement; he would take his shower and finish up the dishes in the evening (I do laundry and day-to-day stuff to keep the household running, and usually do dishes, too), so that he could get up and get things moving in the a.m. and I could just drag myself out of bed and into the shower. Heck, I even often make breakfast the night before. Last night, I made some awesome whole grain blueberry muffins, so it's not even like he has to cook. But this morning was rough-- and I mean, ruff kind of rough. Jason showered and did dishes this morning, so there was no hot water left for me. I had a horrific headache and just felt crappy in general. He was pissy; I was pissy-- it did not make for a fun place to be so early in the day.
We got over it and ended up having a decent day. I managed to get Ethan out and we went to the bookstore for a bit (to pick up a Father's Day gift for Jason's dad; still have no idea what to get my own dad), played with the train set there and then got grocery shopping done and dinner made, all before 5:00. I made this awesome chili pie (with local beef!) with secret hidden veggies and was very disappointed when Halsey refused to eat any of it. Seriously, that kid can sniff out a veggie from a mile away. I am having to really work hard to get in the good stuff for him; I hate thinking that he's only eating junk. Do you think I could sneak pureed spinach into a milkshake?
So tomorrow's dinner will either be leftovers or chicken nachos-- I'm not sure which. Nicole and I are making blueberry breakfast bars in the morning and I may get started on a crafty project I've been working on in my head. I've got tons of old milkcaps from our milk delivery service and some magnets. I want to make family magnets for Ethan, with pictures of his aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents out in Kansas, and I should have enough to do our family here, too. I need to pick up some resin from the craft store, but I'll take pictures to show you all. If you have any hints or suggestions, let me know!
We got over it and ended up having a decent day. I managed to get Ethan out and we went to the bookstore for a bit (to pick up a Father's Day gift for Jason's dad; still have no idea what to get my own dad), played with the train set there and then got grocery shopping done and dinner made, all before 5:00. I made this awesome chili pie (with local beef!) with secret hidden veggies and was very disappointed when Halsey refused to eat any of it. Seriously, that kid can sniff out a veggie from a mile away. I am having to really work hard to get in the good stuff for him; I hate thinking that he's only eating junk. Do you think I could sneak pureed spinach into a milkshake?
So tomorrow's dinner will either be leftovers or chicken nachos-- I'm not sure which. Nicole and I are making blueberry breakfast bars in the morning and I may get started on a crafty project I've been working on in my head. I've got tons of old milkcaps from our milk delivery service and some magnets. I want to make family magnets for Ethan, with pictures of his aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents out in Kansas, and I should have enough to do our family here, too. I need to pick up some resin from the craft store, but I'll take pictures to show you all. If you have any hints or suggestions, let me know!
Monday, June 15, 2009
Goals and goals and goals.
It's been a month since I last wrote here! Of course, the last month was the end-of-the-year hump for teachers. Between Arts Festival and end of the year paperwork, I was swamped. But now, summer is officially on! I had meetings and whatnot last week and while I'm already mentally getting geared up for next school year, I'm physically taking a break, at least for a few weeks. This week, my goal is to finalize all of the paperwork for my recertification. I'm also planning to do some baking (Nicole and I have a great recipe we're going to try this week-- Blueberry Breakfast Bars). We have so much going on in the next few weeks. Nicole and I are together this week (Nicole is the not-so-little-anymore girl that I've been babysitting since she was 4 and now she's 13!). She's gone for the next 3 weeks, but we'll be house/pet sitting for them while they're away on a cruise to Russia. Shelley is getting married next week and I'm finishing up my piece for them (I wrote a paragraph or so to read at the ceremony) and Shelley and I have some baking to do. Oh Friday, July 3rd, three girlfriends and I are taking off for the day and night, a girls' jaunt to Charlottesville where we'll visit a winery, do some shopping, dine at the Melting Pot and sleep in. Then, on the 5th, we're taking the boys to King's Dominion. It's a short vacation, but it's good to get away for a few days together. We'll be celebrating our 2 year anniversary in July, too. We've already talked about our life goals together. We don't necessarily expect life to go to plan, but it's nice to know we're on the same page (most of the time). My biggest goal for the summer is to write. Ethan is big enough now where I should be able to take a few minutes each day to write. Maybe next time I'll explicate my goals a little better!
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Listy.
I am feeling way too ADD to type up anything coherent, so here's a list.
1. 3 weeks of school left with kids; 1 more week after for work week.
2. Arts Festival is next week and it is crazygonuts around CS. Our middle schoolers are performing the Aladdin Jr. Musical and I have the songs stuck in my head-- one jump ahead of the breadline, one swing ahead of the sword, I steal only what I can't afford (that's everything!).
3. There are all kinds of click-it or ticket commercials and ads out right now. Are there people who seriously don't use their seatbelts?
4. I heart Lost and I am sad that I'm watching the season finale.
5. I'm trying to get a handle on my summer. Years ago, the season felt so long. There seemed all kinds of time to enjoy the warm evenings and warmer days. Now, it just flies by. I'm already booked all summer. I look forward to the day when our kids are old enough to enjoy lazy summer days. Maybe then it will all come back to me.
6. Jason wants us to drive out to Kansas again this summer. Last year, E was only 9 weeks old and slept a lot, so it wasn't a big deal to leave him in his carseat and Halsey could be plied with dvds. The movies will still work with Halsey, but not E. If we do drive, we are going to have to rent a van.
7. I am fatfatfat and am doing nothing to help my cause, seeing as how I ate half a sleeve of Thin Mints tonight as I watched the first hour of Lost. Ugh.
8. Within the next few weeks, Jason will be building the bookshelves and fencing in our front yard-- woo hoo!! Home improvement is a wonderful thing.
9. I'm off to focus on the last few seconds of Lost and then to bed. Cross your fingers that I get a good night's sleep! Lord knows I need it!
1. 3 weeks of school left with kids; 1 more week after for work week.
2. Arts Festival is next week and it is crazygonuts around CS. Our middle schoolers are performing the Aladdin Jr. Musical and I have the songs stuck in my head-- one jump ahead of the breadline, one swing ahead of the sword, I steal only what I can't afford (that's everything!).
3. There are all kinds of click-it or ticket commercials and ads out right now. Are there people who seriously don't use their seatbelts?
4. I heart Lost and I am sad that I'm watching the season finale.
5. I'm trying to get a handle on my summer. Years ago, the season felt so long. There seemed all kinds of time to enjoy the warm evenings and warmer days. Now, it just flies by. I'm already booked all summer. I look forward to the day when our kids are old enough to enjoy lazy summer days. Maybe then it will all come back to me.
6. Jason wants us to drive out to Kansas again this summer. Last year, E was only 9 weeks old and slept a lot, so it wasn't a big deal to leave him in his carseat and Halsey could be plied with dvds. The movies will still work with Halsey, but not E. If we do drive, we are going to have to rent a van.
7. I am fatfatfat and am doing nothing to help my cause, seeing as how I ate half a sleeve of Thin Mints tonight as I watched the first hour of Lost. Ugh.
8. Within the next few weeks, Jason will be building the bookshelves and fencing in our front yard-- woo hoo!! Home improvement is a wonderful thing.
9. I'm off to focus on the last few seconds of Lost and then to bed. Cross your fingers that I get a good night's sleep! Lord knows I need it!
Thursday, April 30, 2009
The Tears are from the Onions
A new first for my baby-- he's sick. Actually, I don't think he's sick so much as I think he has allergies. A week and a half ago, he started this cough thing. It wasn't very strong; to be honest, it sounded like a fake cough (but I knew he wasn't faking it). We found out later in the week that the other boy who stays with him during the week (Parker, whom Ethan adores) had bronchitis. Maybe I should have been worried, but I just wasn't. Of course, I come from the school of thought that some exposure to germs is a good thing and we don't necessarily give medicine for a fever because I think a fever is a sign that the body is fighting-- and that's good. I want to develop his immune system. But then there's this cough. And last weekend, the cough sounded a little more wet (whet?). There was definitely some sort of fluid, but no fever, and he was still his happy-go-lucky self. He barely slept on Saturday and Sunday nights, so Monday morning I called the pediatrician's office and no surprise, they weren't any help. They said they didn't want to see him because he didn't have a fever and to just give him some Benadryl. I realize that this is not their child, that they deal with helicopter parents on a regular basis, but I wish they would simultaneously realize that this is MY child and this IS important to me. Anyway, we've give him some Benadryl here and there this week and it hasn't seemed to help and we've given him Motrin to help with the teething. I did some research and have started giving him warm herbal tea because my mother's instinct has reminded me that warm fluids can break up any congestion in his chest. I've also channeled Martha Stewart and am currently making some homemade chicken stock, hoping that will also help.
I've also recently developed a love for Big Lots. We've bought furniture there a few times (we firmly believe that we'd rather spend our money on memorymaking rather than populating our house with *things*) but Susan is always telling me about the good deals on groceries that she finds there. So tonight I stopped in, just to buy a few boxes of Earth's Best ABC pasta that were going for a $1. I bought two boxes, and some bread and ketchup and an Annie's Natural marinade and some fabulous chocolate chips that I've never seen anywhere else. It was like a little aisle of heaven, there in Big Lots. Our money is so tight these days; most days, I'm not sure how we're making it (and we are just barely making it and there are days when it doesn't feel like we're making it at all). It was nice to actually feel like I got a good deal.
And now, I'm watching Grey's Anatomy, a show I gave up on long ago, because every single episode made me cry. But every Wednesday, sometime during Lost, there's a commercial for the next night's Grey's and I get sucked in and watch it and now I'm tearing up again and not from the onions I cut for the stock, but because of this show. Ugh. I should totally give up on this show again.
I've also recently developed a love for Big Lots. We've bought furniture there a few times (we firmly believe that we'd rather spend our money on memorymaking rather than populating our house with *things*) but Susan is always telling me about the good deals on groceries that she finds there. So tonight I stopped in, just to buy a few boxes of Earth's Best ABC pasta that were going for a $1. I bought two boxes, and some bread and ketchup and an Annie's Natural marinade and some fabulous chocolate chips that I've never seen anywhere else. It was like a little aisle of heaven, there in Big Lots. Our money is so tight these days; most days, I'm not sure how we're making it (and we are just barely making it and there are days when it doesn't feel like we're making it at all). It was nice to actually feel like I got a good deal.
And now, I'm watching Grey's Anatomy, a show I gave up on long ago, because every single episode made me cry. But every Wednesday, sometime during Lost, there's a commercial for the next night's Grey's and I get sucked in and watch it and now I'm tearing up again and not from the onions I cut for the stock, but because of this show. Ugh. I should totally give up on this show again.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Everything Is Everything
Spring break is over! It went by so quickly. Halsey got to spend most of the week with us, which was awesome. We planned "field trips" for a few days, to make the most of the break. It was a staycation, if you will. Last Saturday, we colored Easter eggs together and on Sunday, it was Easter. We went to church with Susan and Patrick and then made the trek out to Boones Mill to Debbie and Larry's house for the annual lunch and Easter egg hunt. The boys had a blast and were supercute hunting for eggs!
On Monday, we went to Homestead Creamery. A few weeks ago, we started having our milk delivered by the creamery once a week and I thought this would be a good way for our boys to realize that our milk doesn't just come from the store. After we toured the creamery (and sampled the milks and ice creams!), we drove over to one of the farms and met the cows! The boys loved the tractor and petting a new calf and I hope one day it all sinks in. Eating locally is becoming more and more important to me. I really want our kids to feel a connection to their food.
The second day we drove to Lynchburg to visit Amazement Square, a children's museum. It's fun for the boys but sort of like research for me. I would love to help open a children's museum here in the valley. Anyway, it was a neat place, worth the drive, but unfortunately it was packed because it was spring break (and besides, my favorite children's museum is in Winston-Salem).
Our last field trip was to downtown and the new Art Venture. We parked at Jason's Roanoke office and caught the trolley (the free city bus decorated up as a trolley) downtown, and then walked over to the Taubman. I have to admit that I was really disappointed in the new Art Venture. The set-up wasn't very kid-friendly; the art supplies were limited and the supposed-fancy-pants light show thingy was just lame. They had some ink pads set out that had mostly dried up and when I asked to get out some paints for Ethan, I was told it would be too messy. Uh, hello? That's why we came to Art Venture-- to make art! Who's worried about the mess? We only stayed about an hour and then treated the boys to a Indian lunch (they weren't impressed but they ate anyway) and then we put them in the wagon and walked off our lunch, wandering around downtown.
The last few days of break were low-key. Jason had been with us all week, so he needed to head into the office and Ethan and I just hung out. I feel ready for the summer but we have six more weeks of school left. I am excited because we've got some cool projects planned, plus Earth Day is coming up, and Strawberry Festival! It will go by quickly and summer will be here before I know it.
On Monday, we went to Homestead Creamery. A few weeks ago, we started having our milk delivered by the creamery once a week and I thought this would be a good way for our boys to realize that our milk doesn't just come from the store. After we toured the creamery (and sampled the milks and ice creams!), we drove over to one of the farms and met the cows! The boys loved the tractor and petting a new calf and I hope one day it all sinks in. Eating locally is becoming more and more important to me. I really want our kids to feel a connection to their food.
The second day we drove to Lynchburg to visit Amazement Square, a children's museum. It's fun for the boys but sort of like research for me. I would love to help open a children's museum here in the valley. Anyway, it was a neat place, worth the drive, but unfortunately it was packed because it was spring break (and besides, my favorite children's museum is in Winston-Salem).
Our last field trip was to downtown and the new Art Venture. We parked at Jason's Roanoke office and caught the trolley (the free city bus decorated up as a trolley) downtown, and then walked over to the Taubman. I have to admit that I was really disappointed in the new Art Venture. The set-up wasn't very kid-friendly; the art supplies were limited and the supposed-fancy-pants light show thingy was just lame. They had some ink pads set out that had mostly dried up and when I asked to get out some paints for Ethan, I was told it would be too messy. Uh, hello? That's why we came to Art Venture-- to make art! Who's worried about the mess? We only stayed about an hour and then treated the boys to a Indian lunch (they weren't impressed but they ate anyway) and then we put them in the wagon and walked off our lunch, wandering around downtown.
The last few days of break were low-key. Jason had been with us all week, so he needed to head into the office and Ethan and I just hung out. I feel ready for the summer but we have six more weeks of school left. I am excited because we've got some cool projects planned, plus Earth Day is coming up, and Strawberry Festival! It will go by quickly and summer will be here before I know it.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Break It.1
Thank goodness that spring break is just around the corner! The students are all kinds of keyed up and my mood swings right along with theirs (and they are middle school bunches of hormones!). Halsey will be with us for the week and I'm so excited. I even dusted off PrintShop and made a daily calendar for him to follow. On Friday, we're coloring eggs, Saturday is a trip to the library, Sunday is Easter (church with Susan and then a mini-family reunion for lunch). On Monday, I just scheduled a tour at Homestead Creamery, a local dairy farm that delivers milk to our house now every week. I just really want the kids to have a connection with their food and understand that milk comes from the cows that just live a little ways from us (we'll buy our produce from the farmers' market once that opens back up, too). On Tuesday, we're trekking to Lynchburg to visit Amazement Square, a children's museum (feeding both their need for entertainment and my own need to "research."). On Wednesday, we plan to take advantage of the free "trolley" and ride a bus to downtown Roanoke and go to ArtVenture, which just opened up at the Taubman. It's a staycation and I'm really looking forward to it. Hopefully, I'll have some great pictures to share with you all next week!
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Looking for The One.
I've married my One and now, we are currently for The One person to take care of our Little One. I officially started the childcare search on Friday. I visited one church based center near us, which we loved. The standards are high, the ration of kids to teachers is very low and Ethan jumped right in to play. The bad news is that the cost is high-- very high for us. Jason makes good money, but pays out a buttload in credit debt and in child support. I don't make great money, but love my job... The center starts at $150 a week, so $200 more a month that what we're struggling to pay now. Option Number 1 is out of the question.
Option Number 2 was a shot in the dark. I searched craigslist and found a woman close to our neighborhood for $16 a day, the caveat that kids needed to bring their own lunches, which I prefer anyway. I drove by her house before hand and wasn't thrilled to see old play toys outside, right off of a busy street without a fence. We went anyway and I was so disappointed. The one room where the kids are allowed was packed with junk. The kids were just watching Noggin and yelling at one another. She has a pitbull, which she says is kept outside, but still made me nervous. When I asked about the equipment outside, she told me that she doesn't take the kids outside-- ever. As if the rest of it wasn't enough, that sealed the deal for me. I'm sure she is a very sweet woman and a good option for some parents, but I just couldn't imagine leaving Ethan there all day. Ugh.
I've got a few other numbers to call, but this is so disheartening. I really love my job and want to work, but I also don't want to sacrifice Ethan's care. Something's gotta give...
Option Number 2 was a shot in the dark. I searched craigslist and found a woman close to our neighborhood for $16 a day, the caveat that kids needed to bring their own lunches, which I prefer anyway. I drove by her house before hand and wasn't thrilled to see old play toys outside, right off of a busy street without a fence. We went anyway and I was so disappointed. The one room where the kids are allowed was packed with junk. The kids were just watching Noggin and yelling at one another. She has a pitbull, which she says is kept outside, but still made me nervous. When I asked about the equipment outside, she told me that she doesn't take the kids outside-- ever. As if the rest of it wasn't enough, that sealed the deal for me. I'm sure she is a very sweet woman and a good option for some parents, but I just couldn't imagine leaving Ethan there all day. Ugh.
I've got a few other numbers to call, but this is so disheartening. I really love my job and want to work, but I also don't want to sacrifice Ethan's care. Something's gotta give...
Thursday, March 26, 2009
The Search Begins
First and foremost, we have been blessed to have Susan take care of Ethan this first year. He loves her so much and she loves him; the care she provides for him is incredible. They go on walks; they go to the library and out in the town; she teaches him all kinds of things (they are currently working on cleaning up the toys he plays with) and today, she taught him how to bump his bottom down the stairs. He's not even 13 months yet and he goes up and down the stairs with ease! I am simultaneously thrilled and sad to see my baby growing up so quickly.
Susan, who is one of the most incredible people, is getting married soon and so we only have two months left with her. I am so, so happy for her. However, this leaves us with the search for childcare, which petrifies me. How do you know who to trust? I'm not even sure what we can really afford. Is it better for him to be at an in-home care or at a center? I feel like he'd get more one-on-one care at an in-home daycare, but most aren't licensed and the ones that are don't have available spots. At a center, where it's guranteed to be licensed and I can check up on the details online, he'll be exposed to tons more germs and it's more than likely to be more than we can actually afford?
There are days when I wish I could just stay home with him, but I know I really wouldn't want to do that full time. I really love my job and I like working. I wish I could work part time and make enough money to hire an in-home nanny. Or that my mom could work from home and take care of him or some member of my family could just be here to take care of him. I know we'll figure something out, but keep your fingers crossed, send us your good karma and prayers and hope with us that we'll figure out something that will work out to be a great option for our little guy.
Susan, who is one of the most incredible people, is getting married soon and so we only have two months left with her. I am so, so happy for her. However, this leaves us with the search for childcare, which petrifies me. How do you know who to trust? I'm not even sure what we can really afford. Is it better for him to be at an in-home care or at a center? I feel like he'd get more one-on-one care at an in-home daycare, but most aren't licensed and the ones that are don't have available spots. At a center, where it's guranteed to be licensed and I can check up on the details online, he'll be exposed to tons more germs and it's more than likely to be more than we can actually afford?
There are days when I wish I could just stay home with him, but I know I really wouldn't want to do that full time. I really love my job and I like working. I wish I could work part time and make enough money to hire an in-home nanny. Or that my mom could work from home and take care of him or some member of my family could just be here to take care of him. I know we'll figure something out, but keep your fingers crossed, send us your good karma and prayers and hope with us that we'll figure out something that will work out to be a great option for our little guy.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Do you remember the time...?
I have no clue why Michael Jackson songs are on my brain-radio right now, but alas, that's just how it is.
I have so little free time these days; I dream of having time to write in my journal or blog here; of time to bake; of time to organize my photos and even time to clean my house. Having a toddler is far more exhausting then an itty bitty baby. I felt well rested those first six months. Of course, I was home those first six months and able to nap whenever Ethan napped. But now, it's nonstop. The kid never stops moving (or running or laughing or rough-housing or drumming... you get the picture). It doesn't help that my mind is super full and I'm just as mentally exhausted as I am physically exhausted. I love teaching and I love my class, but academic life isn't confined to just me and my class. I know I'm being vague, but it's best to not put all the dirty laundry out on the line.
But this is it-- a quick update at best. I'm ready for spring (eternal spring). I'm ready for a break.
I have so little free time these days; I dream of having time to write in my journal or blog here; of time to bake; of time to organize my photos and even time to clean my house. Having a toddler is far more exhausting then an itty bitty baby. I felt well rested those first six months. Of course, I was home those first six months and able to nap whenever Ethan napped. But now, it's nonstop. The kid never stops moving (or running or laughing or rough-housing or drumming... you get the picture). It doesn't help that my mind is super full and I'm just as mentally exhausted as I am physically exhausted. I love teaching and I love my class, but academic life isn't confined to just me and my class. I know I'm being vague, but it's best to not put all the dirty laundry out on the line.
But this is it-- a quick update at best. I'm ready for spring (eternal spring). I'm ready for a break.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
To church or not to church? That is the (current) question.
Last night, the boys and I were invited to attend a special Shabbat service at three of my students' temple, and then stay for dinner. Although I have no plans to convert to Judiasm, I really enjoyed the night. I used to attend church regularly, when I was a kid, but during college, I stopped going. I've occasionally gone to a Christmas Eve service, but have never joined. Jason and I talk about joining a church sometimes, but we never seem to make the time to go.
After last night, though, I feel more compelled to find a church. While I consider myself to be spiritual and able to grow spiritually on my own, I realize what I miss most about going to church is the community. Both of our boys had a ball last night, playing with the other kids, sharing a meal together. As I've gotten older, I've come to appreciate the traditions that you find in worship services. I don't want to be one of those Jesus Camp style Christians, but I do think I'd like to find a church to join. Some of myself, but a lot for the kids. I want to enable them to make their own choices about God and church and to never force my views or opinions on them, but I do think I'd like to expose them to ideas so that they'll have a basis for whatever decision they decide to make.
So maybe tomorrow morning we'll get up and go to the church we always talk about visiting. Or one Sunday evening, we'll meet up with one of my co-workers at the church she and her family attend (they say it's a laid back, wear-your-jeans kind of service). I'm not sure what path we'll find ourselves on, but I do think it's time to start walking.
After last night, though, I feel more compelled to find a church. While I consider myself to be spiritual and able to grow spiritually on my own, I realize what I miss most about going to church is the community. Both of our boys had a ball last night, playing with the other kids, sharing a meal together. As I've gotten older, I've come to appreciate the traditions that you find in worship services. I don't want to be one of those Jesus Camp style Christians, but I do think I'd like to find a church to join. Some of myself, but a lot for the kids. I want to enable them to make their own choices about God and church and to never force my views or opinions on them, but I do think I'd like to expose them to ideas so that they'll have a basis for whatever decision they decide to make.
So maybe tomorrow morning we'll get up and go to the church we always talk about visiting. Or one Sunday evening, we'll meet up with one of my co-workers at the church she and her family attend (they say it's a laid back, wear-your-jeans kind of service). I'm not sure what path we'll find ourselves on, but I do think it's time to start walking.
Friday, February 27, 2009
And Breathe...
I am so thankful that I have been a teacher for so many years before I became a parent. I hope that it makes me more respectful of any teacher our boys have and trust their ideas and teaching styles.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Bad Blogger
Sorry, guys. I didn't update from all the bad news venting blog and just wrote some fluff piece about my birthday. My bad.
So some updates:
1. Dillon is home. It's a long story, but he ran away from the hospital where Jason works, returned while J was in a meeting, tried to check himself in to the mental hospital and ended up in the pound. He came home, same neurosis, and only a scratch on his nose.
2. I was wrong; we're getting money back from the gov. Woo woo!
3. Life isn't so bad after all. :)
So some updates:
1. Dillon is home. It's a long story, but he ran away from the hospital where Jason works, returned while J was in a meeting, tried to check himself in to the mental hospital and ended up in the pound. He came home, same neurosis, and only a scratch on his nose.
2. I was wrong; we're getting money back from the gov. Woo woo!
3. Life isn't so bad after all. :)
The Party Before the Storm.
So as of Wednesday, I am officially 29, in the last year of my twenties, as one of my students called, the party before the storm (it was a genius reference, really, as we had just finished up our unit on the Stock Market crash in 1929 and the Depression in the 1930's). Although I an avid birthday-celebrator, I wasn't really looking forward to my birthday this year. Not because of the age, because I really don't mind being 29. After all, I have everything on my "what I really want out of life" life-- a little cottage house, a blue Jeep Cherokee Sport, a big black dog, a superhot best best friend that I got to marry, an adorable son (bonus-- I have two adorable sons), and a job I enjoy. I have accmplished a lot in these 29 years. I wasn't looking forward to it because there was no celebration. Our funds are so very low right now that I cancelled the party we were going to host here and bowed out of my part of the party that was supposed to be joint venture with a fellow Februarian next week. In short, there wasn't anything to look forward to.
But, oh how I was wrong. Wednesday was awesome. Jason was super sweet and got up with Ethan in the am, so I could snooze a few more minutes before work. Anna Beebe, my carpool coworker, brought me flowers. One student made me breakfast and set everything up before I got to school (pancakes, strawberries and juice-- YUM!). My class celebrated Semicolon Appreciation Day, a day of my own invention, the excuse to celebrate my birthday, so we had muffins and juice and more pancakes and French toast. Then there were cupcakes and cake, but the best part came at last period. I was getting ready to give a quiz on To Kill a Mockingbird, when I was called out of the room. When I came back, the lights were off and the kids were gone-- until someone jumped out, shouted surprise and turned the lights on. There was a huge box on the desk. I hate opening gifts in front of people, but I had to. So as 28 students and 2 coworkers watched, I opened the box to find an autographed copy of To Kill a Mockingbird. I was floored. The thoughtfulness that went into this gift, the fact that these kids were a part of it, that they cared enough about me to do something so amazing. I'm not sure I have ever felt so loved. This was the book that changed my reading life; it was this book that showed me that books were more than just a distraction, but that they were meaningful in complex ways and different for different people. I was in tears as I tried explaining this to them and just in awe. They *get* it; they must have some understanding of why I teach literature to them and that is reason I teach.
I came home to more delicious cake, made by my best best friend/husband. My mom stopped by (and now that I am a mother, I realize that my birthday is just as important to my mom as it is to me) I had a pizza dinner with all of my boys and I went to bed a happy and fulfilled woman.
Life is good.
But, oh how I was wrong. Wednesday was awesome. Jason was super sweet and got up with Ethan in the am, so I could snooze a few more minutes before work. Anna Beebe, my carpool coworker, brought me flowers. One student made me breakfast and set everything up before I got to school (pancakes, strawberries and juice-- YUM!). My class celebrated Semicolon Appreciation Day, a day of my own invention, the excuse to celebrate my birthday, so we had muffins and juice and more pancakes and French toast. Then there were cupcakes and cake, but the best part came at last period. I was getting ready to give a quiz on To Kill a Mockingbird, when I was called out of the room. When I came back, the lights were off and the kids were gone-- until someone jumped out, shouted surprise and turned the lights on. There was a huge box on the desk. I hate opening gifts in front of people, but I had to. So as 28 students and 2 coworkers watched, I opened the box to find an autographed copy of To Kill a Mockingbird. I was floored. The thoughtfulness that went into this gift, the fact that these kids were a part of it, that they cared enough about me to do something so amazing. I'm not sure I have ever felt so loved. This was the book that changed my reading life; it was this book that showed me that books were more than just a distraction, but that they were meaningful in complex ways and different for different people. I was in tears as I tried explaining this to them and just in awe. They *get* it; they must have some understanding of why I teach literature to them and that is reason I teach.
I came home to more delicious cake, made by my best best friend/husband. My mom stopped by (and now that I am a mother, I realize that my birthday is just as important to my mom as it is to me) I had a pizza dinner with all of my boys and I went to bed a happy and fulfilled woman.
Life is good.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Just Venting
1. I paid for a digital invitation for Ethan's first birthday, on the assumption that I would be able to print it out. I CAN'T PRINT IT OUT. The file is a pdf and even when I converted it to a jpeg, it's not working. UGH.
2. I am so tired of being poor, but yet I don't want to change jobs. I say, regularly, that it's worth it to not be stressed and enjoy what I do everyday and just make significantly less money, but sometimes, it really sucks.
3. I really would like a snow day tomorrow, because I could really just use a mental health day.
4. We bought Turbo Tax and were semi-excited about doing our taxes this year, because surely with having a baby we'd get a little bit of money back. Nope. Of course not. I want to punch Turbo Tax in the face (if Turbo Tax had a face).
5. The saddest of all, Dillon ran away. It's a long story, but he was up with Jason at work (which happens most days) and after wreaking havoc on the Subaru, he jumped out and took off at 10:00am. Jason didn't leave work until after 5:00 and there was no sign of him. Just keep him in your thoughts. I hate the thought of him being left out in the cold.
Breathe in; breath out.
2. I am so tired of being poor, but yet I don't want to change jobs. I say, regularly, that it's worth it to not be stressed and enjoy what I do everyday and just make significantly less money, but sometimes, it really sucks.
3. I really would like a snow day tomorrow, because I could really just use a mental health day.
4. We bought Turbo Tax and were semi-excited about doing our taxes this year, because surely with having a baby we'd get a little bit of money back. Nope. Of course not. I want to punch Turbo Tax in the face (if Turbo Tax had a face).
5. The saddest of all, Dillon ran away. It's a long story, but he was up with Jason at work (which happens most days) and after wreaking havoc on the Subaru, he jumped out and took off at 10:00am. Jason didn't leave work until after 5:00 and there was no sign of him. Just keep him in your thoughts. I hate the thought of him being left out in the cold.
Breathe in; breath out.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Dental Spa is an oxymoron.
Over the past several years, I have suffered from occassional jaw pain, attributed to TMJ, and severe migraines. The last bout of migraines started in January of 2005 and consisted of visits to opthamologists, neurologists, MRI scans, ending with a diagnosis of pseudotumor cerebri, which basically meant that my body was acting as if I had a brain tumor, but there wasn't actually one.
Fast forward through a few years, and I end up at the dentist-- my greatest fear-- attempting to have all of my old amalgam fillings replaced with new composite fillings. Of course, the cost ran way up and I didn't have dental insurance and wasn't able to finish the whole process. The dentist did share with me that I needed to have my wisdom teeth removed.
So, when the jaw pain started up again in August 2008, I ignored it for a few weeks and then made an appointment to have the top two wisdom teeth removed. Fast forward again, two months after that surgery, and I'm still having jaw pain. I went to see my PCP, who gave me a prescription for a muscle relaxer. That helped for a few weeks, but the pain was present again last week. It was more severe and eventually led to a migraine this Thursday night. I contemplated going to the ER, but I knew that sitting in a room full of flourescent lights would do anything but help the headache. I suffered through and went back to my PCP yesterday, who again gave me muscle relaxers and pain killers, just in case. Yesterday was fairly miserable and last night was even worse. I woke up this morning with the pain more severe than it's ever been. This time, though, I could identify that the pain was in the top two molars on the right side-- I can't bite down at all and the pain is intense to the point I'm in tears and shaking. After doing some reading (ah, the joys of googling to self diagnosis!), I wonder if I have an abscess tooth. When I was pregnant, my gums bled some, but I knew that was typical. Unfortunately, it never stopped. I've also noticed recently that my gums are not pink, but red. To me, this says trouble.
The biggest trouble of all though is my extreme fear of any dentist or dental work. It all stems from the dentist I saw as a child. He was dreadful and mean and I remember being so afraid of him and consequently, the dentist. Despite not having dental insurance, I finally went to the dentist in 2006. The dentist I saw was very patient and took his time to make sure I was comfortable. Unfortunately, he was uber expensive and I can't afford to go back to him. I have dental coverage now, under Jason's plan, but this dentist's office doesn't work with that insurance. Yesterday, my doctor recommended that I look into "dental spas." I laughed out loud, but did come home to do some research (again, if you can call google searches "research"). I found a dentist who is just a few blocks away and who offers this "dental spa." Basically, it's drugs that I can take before and during my visit that make it so I have no memory of the dentist. The smells of sterilization and sounds of buzzing and whirring dental instruments will not become stuck in my head. I've also ordered a product called Nature's Smile that is supposed to reverse any gum disease (this was my attempt to fix the problem without going to the dentist!).
For now, I'm waiting on the Nature's Smile to arrive so I can start that. I'm taking the Lortab for pain and icing my jaw while I sleep. I'm making sure that I'm not on any pain killers when I'm alone with Ethan (he is my top priority). I made the scary phone call to the dental spa (I am not kidding; just calling them was hard enough). I'm only eating soft foods-- soup, applesauce, yogurt, ice cream. And crossing my fingers this doesn't get any worse.
Fast forward through a few years, and I end up at the dentist-- my greatest fear-- attempting to have all of my old amalgam fillings replaced with new composite fillings. Of course, the cost ran way up and I didn't have dental insurance and wasn't able to finish the whole process. The dentist did share with me that I needed to have my wisdom teeth removed.
So, when the jaw pain started up again in August 2008, I ignored it for a few weeks and then made an appointment to have the top two wisdom teeth removed. Fast forward again, two months after that surgery, and I'm still having jaw pain. I went to see my PCP, who gave me a prescription for a muscle relaxer. That helped for a few weeks, but the pain was present again last week. It was more severe and eventually led to a migraine this Thursday night. I contemplated going to the ER, but I knew that sitting in a room full of flourescent lights would do anything but help the headache. I suffered through and went back to my PCP yesterday, who again gave me muscle relaxers and pain killers, just in case. Yesterday was fairly miserable and last night was even worse. I woke up this morning with the pain more severe than it's ever been. This time, though, I could identify that the pain was in the top two molars on the right side-- I can't bite down at all and the pain is intense to the point I'm in tears and shaking. After doing some reading (ah, the joys of googling to self diagnosis!), I wonder if I have an abscess tooth. When I was pregnant, my gums bled some, but I knew that was typical. Unfortunately, it never stopped. I've also noticed recently that my gums are not pink, but red. To me, this says trouble.
The biggest trouble of all though is my extreme fear of any dentist or dental work. It all stems from the dentist I saw as a child. He was dreadful and mean and I remember being so afraid of him and consequently, the dentist. Despite not having dental insurance, I finally went to the dentist in 2006. The dentist I saw was very patient and took his time to make sure I was comfortable. Unfortunately, he was uber expensive and I can't afford to go back to him. I have dental coverage now, under Jason's plan, but this dentist's office doesn't work with that insurance. Yesterday, my doctor recommended that I look into "dental spas." I laughed out loud, but did come home to do some research (again, if you can call google searches "research"). I found a dentist who is just a few blocks away and who offers this "dental spa." Basically, it's drugs that I can take before and during my visit that make it so I have no memory of the dentist. The smells of sterilization and sounds of buzzing and whirring dental instruments will not become stuck in my head. I've also ordered a product called Nature's Smile that is supposed to reverse any gum disease (this was my attempt to fix the problem without going to the dentist!).
For now, I'm waiting on the Nature's Smile to arrive so I can start that. I'm taking the Lortab for pain and icing my jaw while I sleep. I'm making sure that I'm not on any pain killers when I'm alone with Ethan (he is my top priority). I made the scary phone call to the dental spa (I am not kidding; just calling them was hard enough). I'm only eating soft foods-- soup, applesauce, yogurt, ice cream. And crossing my fingers this doesn't get any worse.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Get LOST.
There are days when I wish we had a DVR because there are enough shows that I would watch, if they were on at a convienent time. There are two shows I am currently making time for and they're both on Wednesday nights-- Lost and Top Chef. I am trying desperately to keep up with Lost and stay awake for Top Chef. Anyone else a fan?
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Raindrops on Roses and Whiskers on Kittens
Life has been tremendously busy this past month or so (but I guess everyone says that). The holidays were good, but seemed to speed up the time that was already going too fast. And now, there's only one week left in January. 3 weeks until I'm 29, the laslt year of this decade. Just a little over a month until Ethan's first birthday. Phew.
I'll share some of my favorite things from this month:
On Sunday, the day after we arrived home from Kansas, Halsey was playing in the hallway when he said:
"Hey Mom!"
Now, he's called me "mom" accidently before, sort of how I end up calling Ethan by Dillon's name, or Dillon by Jason's name, and we sort of ignore it and move on. But this was a different tone; he intentionally called me mom.
"Mom," he said again.
I just said, oh-so-nonchalantly, "yes, Halsey?"
"Sometimes, I like to call you mom. Is that okay?"
I grinned the biggest smile ever and said, "Absolutely."
It may sound silly, but he's always called me "Trina." And I know I'm his stepmom, but there's that "step" in front that makes it sound sort of inferior, like "lessermom." And yes, Ethan is my biological child and will one day call me mom, but this was the very first time that I was called, directly and intentionally, "Mom." It felt like putting on the softest, warmest sweater on the windiest, coldest day.
Ethan is now standing up on his own. As in ,from the middle of the floor, not using anything to pull himself up. Just standing there, looking very proud of himself. Walking is just around the corner. While I hate that he is growing up so quickly, I love watching him explore his world and get to know this place. Again, I may sound cheesey, but it really is like the world is new again as I get to see it through his eyes. It is the most amazing thing. He's also just gotten into music. He's always been fascinated when Jason plays his guitar, but now he "dances" and "sings" whenever he hears music. The way his little body just bounces, the way his eyes and smile light up whenever there's a good beat, it's just so... cute. It's achingly cute, the way the baby bunnies and puppies are cute. Anytime Halsey's guitar is in reach, it's the toy he makes a beeline for. He loves to make the music, and I guess it's in his blood. For over five generations, the Hill boys have been making music. It's only fitting that this next generation continue the tradition.
I love my job. I feel so disheartened when I hear other teachers talk about all of the negatives-- the hours, the pay, the parents, the paperwork, the hoops to jump through. I don't have to deal with much of that because I choose to work at a private school, but I do make a significantly less amount on my paychecks, but ya know, I CHOOSE that. Teaching shouldn't be something that you just sort of happen into; it is an honorable profession, despite the fact that teachers don't always get the respect they deserve. And I feel that despite all of the crappy parts of the job, teachers should love what they do and if they don't, then maybe they shouldn't be teaching. Or they're in it for the wrong reason (I mean, complaining about the pay? ReallY? Did you go into teaching to make money? It's certainly not the pay that teachers deserve, but how many of us get paid what we think we deserve?). But in the end, I feel fortunate to truly love my job. I have great students, sometimes great academically, sometimes just great souls and even the challenging ones are great in some ways. I learn from these kids just as much as I teach them. I make a lot less money than most people, and again, probably at least a third less than my friends who teach in public schools, but I get the benefit of loving my job and knowing that reasons I wanted to teach-- to share my love of books and writing with kids so that they might find that love for themselves-- those reasons are the reasons I am still there.
And while money is still tight, we're making due. Jason and I have both worked hard to cut ourselves down to really only taking what we need. We're both packing our lunches every day; we're turning off lights more often, keeping our heat down and I have given up buying magazines (well, mostly given it up). We know that we'll get by and it's been hard, but at least we have each other. It may not be able to pay the rent, but if I end up in a cardboard box, at least I'll have Jason.
And, and!! LOST is back. Huzzah! I only started watching last year, when I was home on maternity leave (the seasons on dvd was like a little bit of heaven) and am hooked. Last night left me a little confused, but excited.
AND AND AND!!!! The best thing about January?
President Obama. :)
I'll share some of my favorite things from this month:
On Sunday, the day after we arrived home from Kansas, Halsey was playing in the hallway when he said:
"Hey Mom!"
Now, he's called me "mom" accidently before, sort of how I end up calling Ethan by Dillon's name, or Dillon by Jason's name, and we sort of ignore it and move on. But this was a different tone; he intentionally called me mom.
"Mom," he said again.
I just said, oh-so-nonchalantly, "yes, Halsey?"
"Sometimes, I like to call you mom. Is that okay?"
I grinned the biggest smile ever and said, "Absolutely."
It may sound silly, but he's always called me "Trina." And I know I'm his stepmom, but there's that "step" in front that makes it sound sort of inferior, like "lessermom." And yes, Ethan is my biological child and will one day call me mom, but this was the very first time that I was called, directly and intentionally, "Mom." It felt like putting on the softest, warmest sweater on the windiest, coldest day.
Ethan is now standing up on his own. As in ,from the middle of the floor, not using anything to pull himself up. Just standing there, looking very proud of himself. Walking is just around the corner. While I hate that he is growing up so quickly, I love watching him explore his world and get to know this place. Again, I may sound cheesey, but it really is like the world is new again as I get to see it through his eyes. It is the most amazing thing. He's also just gotten into music. He's always been fascinated when Jason plays his guitar, but now he "dances" and "sings" whenever he hears music. The way his little body just bounces, the way his eyes and smile light up whenever there's a good beat, it's just so... cute. It's achingly cute, the way the baby bunnies and puppies are cute. Anytime Halsey's guitar is in reach, it's the toy he makes a beeline for. He loves to make the music, and I guess it's in his blood. For over five generations, the Hill boys have been making music. It's only fitting that this next generation continue the tradition.
I love my job. I feel so disheartened when I hear other teachers talk about all of the negatives-- the hours, the pay, the parents, the paperwork, the hoops to jump through. I don't have to deal with much of that because I choose to work at a private school, but I do make a significantly less amount on my paychecks, but ya know, I CHOOSE that. Teaching shouldn't be something that you just sort of happen into; it is an honorable profession, despite the fact that teachers don't always get the respect they deserve. And I feel that despite all of the crappy parts of the job, teachers should love what they do and if they don't, then maybe they shouldn't be teaching. Or they're in it for the wrong reason (I mean, complaining about the pay? ReallY? Did you go into teaching to make money? It's certainly not the pay that teachers deserve, but how many of us get paid what we think we deserve?). But in the end, I feel fortunate to truly love my job. I have great students, sometimes great academically, sometimes just great souls and even the challenging ones are great in some ways. I learn from these kids just as much as I teach them. I make a lot less money than most people, and again, probably at least a third less than my friends who teach in public schools, but I get the benefit of loving my job and knowing that reasons I wanted to teach-- to share my love of books and writing with kids so that they might find that love for themselves-- those reasons are the reasons I am still there.
And while money is still tight, we're making due. Jason and I have both worked hard to cut ourselves down to really only taking what we need. We're both packing our lunches every day; we're turning off lights more often, keeping our heat down and I have given up buying magazines (well, mostly given it up). We know that we'll get by and it's been hard, but at least we have each other. It may not be able to pay the rent, but if I end up in a cardboard box, at least I'll have Jason.
And, and!! LOST is back. Huzzah! I only started watching last year, when I was home on maternity leave (the seasons on dvd was like a little bit of heaven) and am hooked. Last night left me a little confused, but excited.
AND AND AND!!!! The best thing about January?
President Obama. :)
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Happy Holidays... in January.
Hope everyone had wonderful winter holidays! It's been three weeks since my last post and a lot has happened, but here's a short run down.
Christmas was great. We stuck to our guns this year and went easy on the gifts (although we still probably did more than we could have afforded to). Halsey got what he wanted more than anything-- a remote control spider. We spent 8 days in Kansas with Jason's family. We ate the Anchor Inn (the BEST Mexican food eva) twice; did some shopping at a SuperTarget (of which I am supremely jealous); I fell in love with a pair of Joseph Seidel red mary janes that I would never buy because they cost $130; listened to The Kings and the Sons of Midas (two separate bands-- Jason's dad's band and Jason and his brothers band), and helped to design a wedding quilt that J's mom is going to make for us. Although I do adore his family, it was good to get home to our cozy little house. Unfortunately, when we came back, our cat ran away and our financial world just about fell apart.
I'll spare you the details, but it was a rough week. There were some highlights, though. I was able to prepay a ticket and avoid going to court on Friday morning. We've figured out a way to get through the next few weeks and the best part of all-- Sawyer came home. I will sleep much easier tonight.
And speaking of sleep, I should get to bed. It's 10:00 and way past my bedtime (when did I get so old? and why don't I write more often and something more thoughtful than just the day-to-day ramblings? I'll promise to try and do better!)
Christmas was great. We stuck to our guns this year and went easy on the gifts (although we still probably did more than we could have afforded to). Halsey got what he wanted more than anything-- a remote control spider. We spent 8 days in Kansas with Jason's family. We ate the Anchor Inn (the BEST Mexican food eva) twice; did some shopping at a SuperTarget (of which I am supremely jealous); I fell in love with a pair of Joseph Seidel red mary janes that I would never buy because they cost $130; listened to The Kings and the Sons of Midas (two separate bands-- Jason's dad's band and Jason and his brothers band), and helped to design a wedding quilt that J's mom is going to make for us. Although I do adore his family, it was good to get home to our cozy little house. Unfortunately, when we came back, our cat ran away and our financial world just about fell apart.
I'll spare you the details, but it was a rough week. There were some highlights, though. I was able to prepay a ticket and avoid going to court on Friday morning. We've figured out a way to get through the next few weeks and the best part of all-- Sawyer came home. I will sleep much easier tonight.
And speaking of sleep, I should get to bed. It's 10:00 and way past my bedtime (when did I get so old? and why don't I write more often and something more thoughtful than just the day-to-day ramblings? I'll promise to try and do better!)
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