So Maybe I Set My Goals Too High?

But I really am making an effort to write more often. I feel like even if I just come and get the junk that floats around my mind onto paper (er... webpage) than at least I'm doing something: I'm working on making writing a habit. Esme Codell, one of my favorite authors, wrote a book for kids called Sahara Special. It's a great story about a girl who wants to be a writer, but refuses to write in her journal at school (there's a lot more to it than that, you should go find this book right now and read it; it's that good). Her teacher, Ms. Pointy, tells her that "writers write." Seems like such simple advice, really, but it's something I have to tell myself over and over again. Writers write. As Ethan gets older, I'm finding it easier to make the time to write, but there's always something else I should be doing. The laundry. The dishes. Working out. But writers write, and so I'm here.

Both yesterday and today ended up being really great days. Yesterday, I went to a coworker's house to play with her Cricut ( ) and it was amazing. I made a card for our nephew's upcoming birthday, vinyl wall letters to put a quote up in my new classroom library and two very cool dinosaur pictures for Halsey's room. I am going to end up with one of these machines. I thought I had lost my wallet earlier that morning, so the day wasn't so good to begin with, but I'll admit that the Cricut helped to take my mind off of it. Whitney was out and about in Salem, so she came over and used her x-ray vision and found my wallet! Huzzah! Jason and Halsey finally painted the boys' closet doors (orange!) and later that evening, we went to visit another coworker and her family. Today had a nice, slow start. Just me and E. around the house. He took a good nap and then we ran a few errands. I had to go to a new dentist who despairingly confirmed that I need two root canals, but the upside is that they do conscious sedation for the dentist-phobics like myself. I took an old student/current E. babysitter and her younger sister to the bookstore (really, is there anything better than the smell of fresh, new books?) and made a small purchase myself. I came home to an amazing dinner on the table that Jason had whipped up (amazing chicken tenders with a whole wheat coating, pasta and a light garlic parmesan sauce). I did a load of laundry; E. had a bath and went to bed and now I'm getting ready to type up a piece I wrote to read at a friend's wedding this weekend. I'm exhausted, but in a totally fulfilled kind of way. I love these summer days.

Fail.

So I haven't written in a few days; my apologies. As usual, life got hectic. On Friday, I was able to get out to school and get some work done on my classroom. I'm trying to get all of the paperwork done on my recertification and it's a pain the butt, but something I need to do. We had H.Bomb this weekend and had a good time. Yesterday, we went to Cash's first birthday party (!!) and then ran some errands. Both boys were so good that we decided to walk over to Macados for an early Father's Day dinner. They were even so good that there that we had some Father's Day ice cream :) Last night, just before midnight, we woke up to shouts coming from our backyard. When we peered through the blinds, we saw several policemen with their guns drawn. So scary, right? Jason and I both were up and put on some decent clothes and headed to the front door (I was too afraid to go to the backdoor!) Turns out, there was a party down the street and some guy who drunk and beligerent and punched through a door. When his friends called the police, he took off running down the alley, came up one street and turned down our's. He tried to jump our fence (his hand was bloody where he had injured it earlier), broke our fence and hid in our backyard. One cop heard him moaning and that's how the located him! We were asked if we wanted to press charges and while my initial reponse was not at all, the longer I watched this situation go on in my yard, the angrier I got. I mean, people need to take responsibility for their actions and now our fence is broken. I knew, logically, that it would be just a hassle to press charges, but it was seriously about this person taking responsibility for his actions. Needless to say, we didn't sleep very well last night.
This morning, we celebrated with my dad over breakfast and then headed to Lowe's to contemplate some much needed home improvments. Jason will be building bookshelves one of these days in the living room and then we'll fence in the front yard. After that, the goal is to freshen up the fence in the backyard and find some shades for the pergola. In the fall, we'll start some planting. When we returned home, the guy from last night (Jason's been calling him "the perp") showed up at the house down the street, with what looked to be a friend and his mother. They were obviously searching for something and then we heard a phone ringing in our backyard. Great. So Jason took this guy's phone over to him while I stood in the front yard with the boys, my lame attempt to show this guy "hey look, you got us all up in a tizzy last night and we have CHILDREN!" Because, ya know, that would obviously make him feel bad. Turns out, according to Jason who got the scoop, this guy's name is Cameron and he just had a bad night. Not that we could know for sure, but he says he never gets like that. He profusely apologized and offered to make any repairs and whatnot. I admit that was all I needed to really make me feel better--- just knowing that he felt bad and would take responsibility. I'm still a little on-edge, but there really isn't anything more we can do. It's not like we live in the ghetto or anything.
And then there was this afternoon. I swear, being a parent is tough but being a stepparent may just be tougher. I mean, I have the responsibilities of a parent, I love him like he's my child, but I don't get the benefits. There are days when I can't do anything right at all, there is no love or thanks and I just sort of feel all beat down by a preschooler. The hardest thing is that I think the two households, ours and biomom's, have very different parenting styles. And if she happens upon this blog, then let me say that for as much as she doesn't like me and calls me "unfit" to take care of her child, and as frustrated as I'm sure we all get with this situation, I feel thankful that for the most part, she and Jason can work out their grievances and keep H. out of things, that they work together as parents and take care of him. He should just always know that both Mom and Dad love him, and that I do, too.

Second day in a row!

Not to brag, but this is totally my second day in a row to sit down and blog! I just know that I really need to recommit myself to writing. I always feel so much better when I do; it's very cleansing for me. I can get off the "this is what I did today" nonsense and dig into deeper, more thougthful things. But then again, guess what I did today? :) The morning started off on the wrong foot. I am horrible in the mornings. I just don't understand how people can wake up and be... chipper. Ugh. Coffee doesn't do it; a shower doesn't do it-- there isn't much of anything that can get me all up-and-at-'em first thing in the morning. Of course, this has lead to many an argument between me and the hubs. See, while he's not exactly a morning person either, he can at least motivate himself far better than I can. So I sort of depend on him to get up with E, get breakfast going and leave me to ogre-like self. When he doesn't, I get almost hateful with him (and subsequently spend the rest of the day apologizing). I thought we had worked out an agreement; he would take his shower and finish up the dishes in the evening (I do laundry and day-to-day stuff to keep the household running, and usually do dishes, too), so that he could get up and get things moving in the a.m. and I could just drag myself out of bed and into the shower. Heck, I even often make breakfast the night before. Last night, I made some awesome whole grain blueberry muffins, so it's not even like he has to cook. But this morning was rough-- and I mean, ruff kind of rough. Jason showered and did dishes this morning, so there was no hot water left for me. I had a horrific headache and just felt crappy in general. He was pissy; I was pissy-- it did not make for a fun place to be so early in the day.
We got over it and ended up having a decent day. I managed to get Ethan out and we went to the bookstore for a bit (to pick up a Father's Day gift for Jason's dad; still have no idea what to get my own dad), played with the train set there and then got grocery shopping done and dinner made, all before 5:00. I made this awesome chili pie (with local beef!) with secret hidden veggies and was very disappointed when Halsey refused to eat any of it. Seriously, that kid can sniff out a veggie from a mile away. I am having to really work hard to get in the good stuff for him; I hate thinking that he's only eating junk. Do you think I could sneak pureed spinach into a milkshake?

So tomorrow's dinner will either be leftovers or chicken nachos-- I'm not sure which. Nicole and I are making blueberry breakfast bars in the morning and I may get started on a crafty project I've been working on in my head. I've got tons of old milkcaps from our milk delivery service and some magnets. I want to make family magnets for Ethan, with pictures of his aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents out in Kansas, and I should have enough to do our family here, too. I need to pick up some resin from the craft store, but I'll take pictures to show you all. If you have any hints or suggestions, let me know!

Goals and goals and goals.

It's been a month since I last wrote here! Of course, the last month was the end-of-the-year hump for teachers. Between Arts Festival and end of the year paperwork, I was swamped. But now, summer is officially on! I had meetings and whatnot last week and while I'm already mentally getting geared up for next school year, I'm physically taking a break, at least for a few weeks. This week, my goal is to finalize all of the paperwork for my recertification. I'm also planning to do some baking (Nicole and I have a great recipe we're going to try this week-- Blueberry Breakfast Bars). We have so much going on in the next few weeks. Nicole and I are together this week (Nicole is the not-so-little-anymore girl that I've been babysitting since she was 4 and now she's 13!). She's gone for the next 3 weeks, but we'll be house/pet sitting for them while they're away on a cruise to Russia. Shelley is getting married next week and I'm finishing up my piece for them (I wrote a paragraph or so to read at the ceremony) and Shelley and I have some baking to do. Oh Friday, July 3rd, three girlfriends and I are taking off for the day and night, a girls' jaunt to Charlottesville where we'll visit a winery, do some shopping, dine at the Melting Pot and sleep in. Then, on the 5th, we're taking the boys to King's Dominion. It's a short vacation, but it's good to get away for a few days together. We'll be celebrating our 2 year anniversary in July, too. We've already talked about our life goals together. We don't necessarily expect life to go to plan, but it's nice to know we're on the same page (most of the time). My biggest goal for the summer is to write. Ethan is big enough now where I should be able to take a few minutes each day to write. Maybe next time I'll explicate my goals a little better!